UNDERSTANDING IT COGNITIVELY
Healing from Trauma
- Complex Trauma: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre
DOING THE WORK
Books While Doing the Work
- From Triggered to Tranquil by Susan Campbell
- clarity & connection by yung pueblo
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Modalities That Worked for Me
- Complex Trauma Recovery Coaching with Linda Meredith
- Cognitive and Somatic Based Psychotherapy with Roland Bal
- QEC with Fumie Toki
BUILDING YOUR TOOL KIT
Emotional or Psychological Safety
Something that is absolutely key to healing from complex trauma is finding a group of likeminded people where it is psychologically safe to be you, make mistakes, and experiment with your communication style. Ultimately this means that you surround yourself with a Team You that encourages you to be authentically you, flawed and all, mistakes and all, emotions and all.
For me, it meant:
- Relearning how to relate to people. I joined a Facebook group focused on healing from complex trauma. Here, I overcame my debilitating fear of expressing myself.
- Relearning how to speak in public. I participated in my local Toastmaster’s Club and learned how to take constructive feedback while presenting in an impromptu manner.
- Relearning how to accept help. I worked with therapists and coaches. I learned to let go of my need to constantly be right. Instead, I learned to make mistakes, be OKAY with that, learn from it, and move on. I learned how to feel my emotions without the added layers of shame, blame, and guilt.
- Relearning how to do something as a complete beginner. I am an amateur podcaster. I identify people who fascinate me and ask them to guest on my Sandwich Parenting Podcast. I have no idea what I’m doing, but this work is about learning, growing, and meeting incredibly amazing people doing incredibly amazing work that makes the world a better place.
- Relearning how to collaborate. I partner with Chapter Zero, an organization dedicated to advocating for Respectful Parenting in Singapore. We now run trauma-informed group coaching programs in support of stressed out parents who are finding it difficult to manage their triggers.